The Parking Ticket
by Sparrow Townshend
Summary: Franziska von Karma gets a parking ticket, setting off a series of less-than-fortunate events.
1. Chapter 1

version: 1.2 (9/18/2008)

**THE PARKING TICKET**

By Sparrow Townshend

**Part I**

Franziska closed the lid on the slim white box as she left the tailor's, smiling to herself as she walked briskly down the sidewalk. _How unusual_, she mused, _the service in those places is usually dreadful on the weekends._ She paused, opening the box again to look at her new pair of black leather gloves. _I might as well break them in now,_ she thought.

Passers-by eyed her nervously as she clenched her fists, studying the movements of her hands inside the gloves, her eyes narrowing as she savored the sounds of the new leather.

Franziska pulled a shiny car key out of her pocket, shifting her shopping bag to her other arm as she came closer to where her immaculate black BMV was parked. Yes, there was nothing quite like a purchase of custom-made suits and an exhilarating drive home in a high-quality, 6-speed transmission, German-made...

_What the-_

Franziska quickened her pace as she saw two suspicious uniformed men walk in front of her treasured vehicle.

"Excuse me - " she shouted, stepping in front of the men. "My car..." she began, losing her train of thought as she noticed fingerprints on the windshield...scratches on the hood...

"...was parked in a loading zone," one of the men replied. Franziska snatched a pink slip of paper from under the windshield wiper. She twitched, yearning for her customary whip. She dropped her shopping bag and parking ticket, staring down the two police officers.

"You fools! Don't you know who I am?"

"Hey kid, we don't have time for guessing games. We're on the beat so just go home and whine to your daddy, I'm sure he'll pay it for you," one of the policemen said as he eyed her top-quality purchases.

"YOU FOOLS!" Franziska shouted, flinging the car door open and grabbing her whip off the car seat in a matter of seconds. "HOW DARE YOU FOOLISH FOOLS INCONVENIENCE FRANZISKA VON KARMA!"

"Look," the other policeman sighed, pushing her lightly aside as he lowered his sunglasses, "if you wanna take this problem up with someone, there's a court date on that ticket. We just give 'em out. We can't take 'em back. 'Kay?"

Franziska cracked her whip, feeling somewhat more relieved as it made contact with the second policeman's face, knocking his sunglasses off.

"Whoa!" the first policeman said, jumping back a few feet. "Whoa, whoa..." he said, shaking his head in disbelief for a few seconds.

"Hey, sister," the second policeman said as he picked up his sunglasses, "assaulting a police officer is a FELONY. You know what that means?"

"YOU FOOLS!" Franziska shouted, attacking them with her whip, "OF COURSE I -"

Franziska paused as the first policeman took a tazer out of his belt.

"Put down the whip and no one gets hurt," he said.

Franziska lowered her whip and jumped into her car, pulling out of the parking space and up to the end of the street... to a red light.

"Curses," she muttered, slamming her fist on the dashboard, accidentally hitting the radio.

"IN OTHER NEWS, LOCAL ATTORNEY PHOENIX WRIGHT WILL BE HOSTING A CHARITY SILENT AUCTION TO BENEFIT HOMELESS-"

She turned off the radio, her irritation rising with every second.

The two police officers ran onto the crosswalk in front of Franziska's car, gesturing for her to pull over. She revved her engine, staring at the traffic light as if doing so would make it turn green faster.

Franziska sighed in irritation as she pulled into the closest parking space, turning off her engine. She quickly studied herself in the rearview mirror, attempting a more composed and congenial expression.

"Step out of the car, ma'am," the first police officer said.

"All right..."she replied, pausing to read his name badge, "...Officer Bann...I'll go along with your little charade. But I'll have you know that when your next paycheck-"

Franziska paused, a cold wave of realization creeping in around the edges of her vision.

"Things are bad enough for you, missy, don't go actin' like you own the place," the first policeman said.

_Curse this foolish town and its foolish police force_, Franziska thought, gritting her teeth as she stepped out of the car.

"You're under arrest for assaulting a member of the police force," he said, cuffing her before she had time to respond.

"Get your hands off me, you fool!" Franziska shouted.

"You have the right to remain silent," the second policeman said, grinning as he continued giving Franziska her rights, ignoring her utterances.

_A relaxing day of shopping, an expensive lunch, and a carefree drive back home (well over the speed limit, of course). A perfect day. A perfect use of Papa's generous gift of birthday money. A nice day off in a nice, moderately-sized, moderately-urban town far outside of the city. Ah, beautiful Fairview. A town whose sole industry was retail and service, where everyone's livelihood revolved around two rules: "THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT," and "AIM TO PLEASE." Idyllic, wasn't it? _

_A town full o__f UTTER IDIOTS. FOOLS who knew little of the terrors that awaited them should they dare to challenge a Von Karma..._

Franziska watched rows of smiling people stroll along the street, shopping bags in hand. From inside the caged-in back seat of the police car, their inane laughter seemed to mock her, like the foolish drivel of zoo spectators watching tigers. _Even dealing with those fools in the city would have been a hundred times better than this unfortunate 'incident'_, she thought. _If any police officer in the city even _thought _of giving FRANZISKA VON KARMA a parking ticket, I'd have their salary cut before they could finish writing it._ A smile crept across her face as she imagined taking her whip to her favourite police department scapegoats. _What an embarrassment_, she thought, the reality of her situation interrupting her fantasy. _But this isn't over yet..._

Franziska mentally went through all the people she could call up once they brought her to the station. _Yes, this will be simple. Simpler than trouncing that idiot Mr. Phoenix Wright... It's all a matter of how you phrase it, what you don't say, exposing the foolish foolery of those fools for what it truly is..._

"Well," the first police officer began, losing his train of thought as he braked to let a large group of senior citizens jaywalk in front of the police car. Officer Bann continued examining the contents of Franziska's shopping bag, discovering her wallet.

_Surely they'll recognise my name at the very least_, she thought. _Even fools watch the news and read the newspaper..._

"Might I have both of your full names, Officers?" Franziska inquired in a tone so polite it could have been mistaken for condescension.

"Why, so you can mention us by name to the judge?" he laughed, pausing to spit-polish his sunglasses. Bann yanked one of Franziska's business cards out of her wallet, shoving it in front of his partner's face. Franziska frowned as she saw his dirty fingers crease and smudge the creamy white paper.

"It seems Miss...Von Karma...here is a _lawyer_," he continued, embellishing the last word with a special kind of venom.

"Von Karma? Ha ha ha, that's hilarious," the other policeman said.

"Your names," she hissed in reply.

"I'm Joe Duncan, and he's Ray Bann."

_Not that it matters now..._

"Say, Officers, haven't you heard of anyone with my name before?" Franziska asked, trying to jog their memory.

"Well, to tell you the truth, you're our first big arrest," Bann replied. "Nothing much goes on here in Fairview except the occasional shoplifter or pickpocket."

"Yeah, imagine what people will say when they hear someone assaulted a police officer!" Duncan said, speeding at 20 miles per hour.

"_If_ they hear about it."

"Yeah, I doubt it'll make the _city_ news."

"And I doubt anyone would watch it!"

"But yeah, we've never run across a 'Von Karma' before," Duncan said, trying to contain his laughter.

"Did you ever hear this one? My karma ran over your dogma!" Bann shouted, interrupting.

"Hah hah hah hah! That's great!"

"Yeah! And I don't even know what it means!"

"Me neither! Hah hah hah!"

Franziska didn't bother to clarify her statement. _Obviously the fools don't watch the news. Not even the local news. They probably don't even _have_ a local news channel. Even if they did, there's no news here to report._

The police car passed a row of dismally cheery houses, recorded birdsongs blasting out of speaker holes in the trees, as if to mock her predicament. Franziska felt slightly nauseous and more than slightly irritated. She studied her reflection in the car window, ignoring the blur of pink and yellow plaster outside.

**PART II COMING SOON...**

**...to a computer screen near you!**

* * *

**A****uthor's Notes**

Well, I hope you all enjoyed Part I of this ridiculous romp. Please review if you have the time and energy to write something constructive, whether it is negative or positive. Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote fan fiction. I've been working on my dystopia novel, 'Houses of the Holy' for the past 2 years, and it seems like I haven't written a whole lot other than that. It's good to be back :D


	2. Chapter 2

Version 1.4 (9/21/08)

**THE PARKING TICKET**

**Part II**

Bann and Duncan took Franziska into the police station, which was housed in a cheery yellow faux-European thatched-roof cottage, its window boxes stuffed with gaudy plastic flowers.

Franziska impatiently looked around the disgustingly sterile police station. The smell of new paint and cleaning solution made her head ache as she sat down in her cell.

"We run things a little differently out here," said Duncan as he handed Franziska's shopping bag and whip to Bann.

"I'll just take care of all this stuff and do the paperwork and then we can get you all settled!" Bann said cheerfully, examining each of the items carefully.

"Oh ho ho!" he exclaimed after several minutes. "It seems that miss lawyer here has another thing goin' for her!"

"Whazzat?" Duncan said drowsily, awaking from his nap on the floor.

"She doesn't have a driver's licence..." he replied in a sing-song tone.

"It's right there, on top of all the other cards," Franziska said, resisting the urge to add 'you fools' to the end of her statement.

"All I see here is some mumbo-jumbo...ohhhh! Oh ho ho ho! Not so fast there!"

"Someone's got a fakie!" Duncan shouted as he snatched the card out of Bann's hand.

"Didn't even bother to put real words on it, didja? Figure we don't look at 'em long enough, eh?"

"YOU FOOLS!" Franziska shouted, boiling over with rage. "That's a German driver's licence!"

"Well, here in the U.S. of A., we drive on the RIGHT side of the road," Duncan said condescendingly.

"Hah hah hah, I get it!" Bann said, laughing obnoxiously, "The right side! Like it's 'right' 'cause it's American and it's also-"

"I demand my phone call this instant!" Franziska shouted, causing Duncan to drop the bag of candy he was holding.

"God Jesus, would it kill you to be a little nicer?" Bann replied, walking over to the wall. He took a cordless phone from the wall and passed it through the bars to Franziska, along with a small metal key.

"You might wanna take those handcuffs off first," he said. Franziska did so before he finished his sentence, throwing the key across the room.

"That wasn't too nice," he muttered, running to retrieve the key.

"OH MY GOD, 'COPS' IS ON!" Duncan shouted, tearing out of the room.

"Yeah, fine, go watch your show while I do the boring stuff!" Bann shouted, stuffing the handcuff key in his pocket.

"I wish we'd had that camcorder of yours with us today!" Duncan's voice said faintly from another room.

"When are you gonna buy your own!?" Bann shouted, shaking his head as he turned back to his paperwork. Franziska observed him silently reading aloud, frowning when he came to certain words.

_Who to call_, she thought, running the possible scenarios through her head.

_That incompetent scruffy detective, perhaps? No, I can only imagine the potential for disaster. If he didn't get lost on the way here, he'd probably still... Wait, I don't think he even owns a car. I certainly wouldn't expect him to have one capable of leaving the city, what with his current salary._

_If only Papa was still here,_ she thought, laughing to herself as she pictured her father traumatizing the two policemen over the phone. _But he'd probably be most unsympathetic._ Franziska recalled the numerous times he'd deliberately avoided spending time with her during the holidays by giving her large sums of money and claiming he was busy. _Hmph, I never really wanted to spend time with him anyhow._ She sighed in irritation, putting the thought of him out of her mind to concentrate on the situation at hand.

_Miles Edgeworth, then. He's certainly capable of bailing me out._ But what an embarrassment it would be. She could only imagine the interminable, horrid silence she'd face when she had to speak to him. _What would he think of me? That I willingly committed some thoughtless violation of some foolish law? That I'm an intellectually-inferior fool? I can't indebt myself to him._ _Hm, at least I have him to call if another, less...embarrassing...option doesn't exist. _

The horrid smooth jazz that had been winding its way through the room from a radio on the front desk faded out, only to puncture the silence with an ear-splitting series of commercials, voiced as loudly and quickly as possible.

"Hurry up with that phone, sister," Bann said, "I want to call in a request."

Franziska glared back at him. Bann quickly returned to shuffling his papers.

She punched in the numbers as quickly as possible, her heart pounding in her ears as she heard the phone ring numerous times.

_Pick up, damn you..._

"Helllooo?" said a cheerful female voice on the other end. Franziska frowned, hanging up.

_Wrong number, perhaps. _

She dialed the number again, more slowly this time.

"Hello?" the same voice inquired.

"This is Miles Edgeworth's office, correct?!" she said, sounding more irate than she'd intended.

"Yes, Mr. Edgeworth is in court right now," the voice replied. Some crunching noises punctuated the spaces between sentences.

"Then what are you doing answering his phone?"

"Well it was ringing pretty loud, and I was just passing by, so-"

"Just tell him to call this number when he gets in. It's urgent."

Franziska hung up before the child could protest.

_What is it with him and those schoolgirls, anyhow!?_

Bann gingerly took the phone from where Franziska had tossed it onto the floor.

"Looks like someone's gonna be stayin' overnight," he mumbled, suppressing the urge to snicker at Franziska's irritation.

* * *

Crumbs on the desk and the chair. Several long brown hairs on the floor. Some sheets of paper carelessly torn off of his customized legal pad and scribbled on.

_Who has been in my office_, Edgeworth thought, too tired and detached to become overly concerned.

He picked up the sheets of paper, reading them quickly. The first note was written in a curvy script, with several smiling faces drawn lazily into the margins.

_**Hi Mr. Edgeworth! I was walking by your office and your phone was ringing a lot, so I answered it and took a message for you.**_

_** Ema**_

_That lab coat-wearing schoolgirl_, he thought after a few minutes of trying to put a face with the name on the note. Edgeworth examined the second piece of paper.

_**A woman called and said to call her back ASAP, you can check the caller ID for the number. It was from "FAIRVIEW POLICE DEPT."**_

He immediately dialed the number, wondering who in Fairview could possibly need such urgent assistance from him.

"Fairview Police," answered the voice on the other end. The garbled, static-filled sounds of a TV set in the background intruded on the silence between his words.

"Miles Edgeworth. I received a call from your department earlier today which I was instructed to return as soon as possible."

"What?"

Edgeworth sighed in irritation, repeating his request.

"Hold on a minute." A loud noise sounded in the receiver. Edgeworth moved the phone away from his ear, glaring at the receiver.

"Sorry, Mister, it was this girl we took into custody today. Here, I'll put her on."

"Give me that phone," a familiar voice snapped.

"Franziska," Edgeworth said, half-stupefied, half-bemused.

"I need you to come bail me out. I'll explain later. All I can say is..."

He heard her sigh tensely as she organized her thoughts.

"...this is all due to the foolish actions of these fools-"

"I'll be there shortly," he interrupted. "But one question...what's the charge?"

"A parking violation...among other things."

"All right. I'll leave as soon as possible."

* * *

The flatness of his tone disturbed her. As usual, it was nearly impossible to read his opinions. Outside of the courtroom he rarely showed any strong emotions. How she envied that part of him, wishing she could narrow her emotions to a suitable degree, becoming all the more capable of striking fear into the hearts of her opponents.

_What an embarrassment_, she thought, the melancholy notion of "perfection" she had once valued above her own life floated around inside her head. _Yet another horrid stain on my record. But,_ she mused, her usual scheming nature returning, _unlike my losses in the courtroom, this is easily correctable. A couple of well-placed bribes in the hands of a couple of well-placed people..._

"Let's not have all this ill will circling around, hm?" Franziska said, injecting her words with a cheerfulness so pronounced it was painful for her to hear.

"What's that?" Bann said, stapling some papers together absentmindedly.

"One thousand dollars."

"Hmm..."

"Each."

"What?"

"I will give you and your partner...one. thousand. dollars. each," Franziska said quietly, punctuating the words with a smirk.

"For what?"

"Never mind!"

"I don't understand, we just arrested you. Why would you want to pay...Oh! Wait! You're trying to pay your bail? Why didn't you say so earlier? But wait, why do you want to split up the money between us?"

"YOU FOOL! I WAS TRYING TO-"

"Oh. OH! Oh ho ho ho, not today. The Fairview Police Department is bribe-free since 2010. Just pay your bail and be done with it."

"Not while this ridiculous charge remains," a quiet, dignified voice said.

"Can I help you?" Bann said cheerfully, turning towards the figure that entered the doorway.

"It's about time," Franziska muttered, looking at her watch. _Was it really a two-hour drive this time of night?_

Duncan emerged from the other room, yawning as he dumped an empty box into the trashcan. He froze in place like a deer in headlights as he saw Edgeworth standing in front of the door, apparently stupefied by his important-looking nature.

"Hello, sir," he mumbled, looking at the floor.

Edgeworth dropped a stack of papers on the counter, a check for a substantial sum of money resting on top.

"I think you'll find that this whole incident is somewhat frivolous," he said, smiling confidently.

Bann quickly read through the papers, scratching his head in embarrassment.

"Why, er...of course, Mister...Edgeworth...of course Miss von Karma can leave right away. Sorry, I had no idea. Really."

Franziska sighed, avoiding eye contact with Edgeworth as Duncan unlocked the cell door.

"Where did you fools have my car towed to?" she asked, rearranging the contents of her shopping bag.

"A lot somewhere in the city," Bann said. "We don't have any towing companies here. You'd think we would, what with the constant parking problems around-"

"Just tell me where it is!"

"Star Towing, 55th Street," Bann blurted out, fearfully eyeing the whip in Franziska's hand.

She followed Edgeworth outside without a word, glaring back at the police station.

**To be continued.**

* * *

**Author Notes**

It turned so serious halfway through. Perhaps Franziska's anguish is starting to affect the mood. I suppose it's not as much of a fun-filled romp as it was at the beginning. But change is good, no? Either way, I'm starting to think I categorized this story incorrectly. D'OH!

There will be more, sooner or later. And it will contain hijinks of the variety featured at the beginning of this fic. And there will be blood. Or at least a couple of good bruises and some whiplash.

--Sparrow Townshend


	3. Chapter 3

version: 1.4 (9/25/08)

**THE PARKING TICKET**

**Part III**

Yes, things were easily solved with 'proper' paperwork, money, and intimidation. Such methods could erase such a humiliation from her record...but _he _would always know about it. He would always have that on her. And whether or not he ever brought it up in conversation or used it against her made no difference. The very fact that _he knew_ was embarrassment enough to last for quite a while.

Franziska watched Edgeworth walk to his car, a shiny black Audi. He turned to face her. She met his eyes, glaring at him silently.

"Do you want to put your shopping bag in the trunk?" he asked her.

She felt her chest tighten with anger. _Such a casual tone at a time like this?_

"What am I going to do about my Mercedes? Those fools got their fingerprints all over it when they ticketed me, and what's more, they've had it TOWED. Do you KNOW what that does to a car?"

She found herself inches away from his face at the end of her outburst.

"Well, it's too late at night to do anything about that now, wouldn't you say?" he said coolly, opening the door and climbing into the driver's seat. "I'm sure the tow lot is closed at this hour."

Franziska clenched her fists and looked down at him through the window. A painful minute of silence passed between them, exacerbating Franziska's throbbing headache.

Edgeworth gave her a quizzical look.

"Why are you making that ridiculous face?" she said, averting her eyes in an effort to calm herself.

"You're not going to stay here, are you?" he said.

"Well, I suppose I'll have to."

"Get in the car, Franziska."

"Right," she muttered, walking to the passenger side of the car.

"Were you waiting for me to ask you?" he said, trying not to laugh. _Only Franziska. Only she would be so stubborn._ _It's almost kind of cute_, he thought.

Franziska buckled her seatbelt, studying her fierce eyes in the rearview mirror. _Does it matter if I was? I could have called a cab. I don't __need__ you, _she thought, gritting her teeth.

Edgeworth dropped the conversation, starting up the car.

She absentmindedly examined the car interior, trying to find something to distract herself from the tension hovering around them.

"I see you never learned to drive a _real_ car, Miles," she said, pointing accusingly at the automatic-transmission gear shift.

"Just because I don't drive a manual doesn't mean that I don't know how," he replied calmly.

"That's what they always say," she laughed, feeling slightly better.

No response.

* * *

Surreal, downtempo lounge jazz floated gently through the speakers at a low volume. The awkward, tense silence between them brought the music to Franziska's attention. The playfully quiet vibraphone melodies only made her angrier as she struggled to resist their soporific dance.

Franziska jabbed the radio dial. The music came to an abrupt halt. Edgeworth studied her out of the corner of his eye, sensing a great deal of anger and frustration as he saw her lean her head against the window and turn away from him.

"I'm almost certain that this will be erased from your record," he said, trying to alleviate the tension in the air.

"Oh, 'almost certain,'" she muttered, not moving from her position.

Edgeworth gripped the steering wheel tighter, trying not to let his emotions affect his driving. _That ungrateful little...Sometimes, I wish I __was__ her brother so that I could speak frankly about her horrible attitude_, he thought.

"'Almost certain'? Do you think that's good enough? This is an embarrassment...to everything I stand for! To my family! To..."

She turned to face him, wishing that she hadn't left her whip in the car trunk.

"You fool! You're just going to ignore me?" she continued, growing louder with every word. "Aren't you going to ask me about what I did?"

Edgeworth tried to garble her words as they came in his ears, wishing she hadn't turned off the radio.

"And...my car! My beautiful Mercedes! Every time I see it with DENTS in the BUMPER and SCRATCHES on the hood, I'll remember this fiasco! That was a present from Papa! You know that! It's a precious memento! How dare you just brush this all off like-"

"Stop it!" he shouted. "First of all, do you know how much trouble I went through to drive out here?"

She seemed surprised, yet relieved, raising one eyebrow as she listened to him speak. _Oh, she __wanted_ _to break my demeanor, did she?_ He immediately adjusted his tone.

"Secondly, don't act like I don't know about you and your father. I know for sure that that car has no sentimental value for you. He only bought it for you because you needed a vehicle. And finally, I only told you I was 'almost certain' because it is human nature to be imperfect...if you can get off your pedestal long enough to comprehend that."

She wanted so badly to hit him in the face, to destroy his stoic expression. _Oh, he has an explanation for everything. He always gets back to his usual self. _

_But he _did _put his work aside to come help me...and he _did _'almost certainly' take care of this humiliating little 'incident' singlehandedly_.She wondered if she would have done the same for him...but it occurred to her that he would never have gotten himself into such a mess in the first place. Why was he always so much more collected, so much more...perfect...than her? _You self-assured bastard. How dare you treat me like this. _

She slapped him across the face, knowing he wouldn't hit back. She heard him breathing heavily as he sped up the car, trying to contain his anger.

"Franziska," he said quietly.

"What," she said, his tone catching her off guard.

"I'm trying to drive."

She sighed, looking out of her window, digging her nails into the upholstery.

He rejoiced in the growing silence, turning his full attention back to the road, noticing the milky brightness of the moon overhead.

* * *

BRRRRRRRRRRRRING

The unnaturally loud sound of Edgeworth's cell phone caused them both to jump. He nearly swerved off the road, causing Franziska to hit her head on the window she had been leaning against.

"YOU FOOL!" she shouted, pressing a hand to her forehead. "What will those fools think if I have to walk into the courtroom with a giant bruise on my face!"

"Well, that's no concern of mine, Franziska," he replied, trying not to laugh as she worriedly examined her head in the mirror. "After all, you could have done the same thing to me just a minute ago."

"But you deserved it," she muttered.

Edgeworth frowned, looking down, then back at the road, then down again every few seconds.

Franziska folded up the mirror, rubbing her forehead.

"What the hell are you looking at?!" she said, shifting her legs nervously away from him.

_Not what you're thinking, believe me,_ he thought, shaking his head.

The phone rang again before he could explain that he had been looking for it.

"Hello!" Franziska spat, picking up the phone from under her seat.

"Uh, sorry, I think I got the wrong number?" said the voice on the other line. "Is this Mr. Edgeworth?"

"What do you think, you fool!?"

"Sorry, sorry, you know, some people totally sound like girls on the phone sometimes, and...yeah...oh, wait, wait, WAIT...I KNOW what's goin' on here. Did I, uh, heh heh, 'interrupt' the two of you?"

Franziska shoved the phone at Edgeworth. Unable to take his hands off the steering wheel fast enough, he dropped the phone onto the floor.

_Not again,_ he thought.

"Can't you do anything right, you foolish fool!" she said. "Ugh, just drive. I'll get it."

It was quite dark on the highway. Unable to see, she groped about blindly on the floor of the car.

He kept his eyes on the road, trying to ignore her. She kept brushing against him as she searched for the phone.

"I know it fell over here somewhere," she said. "I hope it didn't get stuck under the brake."

"W-why don't you stop that," he said, worrying his imagination might make something more of the situation.

"Fine," she said, returning to her seat.

He pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car.

She looked straight ahead, her heart beating frantically.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice wavering.

"Something I should have done earlier," he replied.

He picked up his phone from under his seat.

"I'm just going to take that call, and then we can be left in peace."

_To do what_, she thought, her hand closing around the door handle.

"After all," he said, "even when no one's on the road, it's still illegal to use a phone while driving."

"Oh, I s-see..." she said.

* * *

"I can't wait," Maya said, bouncing up and down in her seat as Phoenix drove down the road. "This is all so exciting!"

"We'll be there soon enough," he replied, turning to look at Maya.

"I can't wait to buy myself some disguises!"

"Is that really how you think of normal clothes?" he said, looking back out at the road.

"Well...yes!" she said, grinning.

"It will be so nice to relax and enjoy our quiet weekend in the-"

"Hey wait," Maya interrupted, grabbing his sleeve and looking back. "There was a car pulled over to the side of the road out there."

"Hmm, did they have their emergency lights on?" he said, slowing down in case they had to turn back.

"No, but the headlights were on and it looked like there were two people just sitting there. I think they might be in trouble, Nick," she said, looking down at her feet.

_How can I say no to a face like that_, he thought, smiling to himself. _Besides, it will probably bother her all weekend if I don't do anything._

* * *

"Franziska," Edgeworth said, putting his phone back in his pocket.

"What," she said, looking at a tree outside.

She saw headlights approaching behind him.

He turned, wondering who could possibly be pulling over in the same exact spot at this hour of the night.

Franziska jumped as she saw a round face surrounded by long black hair press itself against the window.

Edgeworth's first thought was of the Japanese ghost women in old woodblock prints. His rational mind quickly dismissed the thought as he recognized the bubbly tone of Phoenix Wright's perky sidekick.

"It's that psychic," Franziska said.

"I think they're okay!" Maya said, turning back to look at Phoenix. He looked slightly pale as he approached the car.

_Oh no, I hope that's not the black Audi I think it is..._

"What's going on here?" Edgeworth sighed, stepping out of the car.

"We saw a car pulled over, and Maya thought something was wrong," Phoenix replied, wishing he sounded a little more important.

"Y-yeah, we thought maybe someone fell asleep at the wheel or ran out of gas or-" Maya left her statement unfinished, frozen in fear at the sight of Franziska slamming the car door behind her. "Er, yes, and-"

"What's going on here, you fools?" she said, looking venomously at the three of them.

"That's what we were here to..." Phoenix began.

"Hee hee hee," Maya laughed, a huge grin spreading across her face. "Ho ho ho ho ho! No wonder you're angry," she said, wagging her finger.

"EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Franziska shouted.

"Oh you don't have to be angry, we'll just leave you two _alone_," Maya said, prancing back to the car. As she noticed no one was following her, she stopped and began kicking a rock on the ground, still smiling mischeviously.

An awkward silence followed. Edgeworth looked confused, Franziska still looked quite irritated, and Phoenix's face was somewhere between embarrassment and confusion.

"Oh," Edgeworth said quietly, Maya's implications becoming clearer. "You're mistaken," he said, blushing.

"What are you...oh. OH! YOU FOOLISH FOOL!" she shouted at Maya, her face turning red.

"W-well! Ha ha ha, YOU have some explaining to do as well, Mr. Phoenix Wright!" Franziska continued, pointing at him.

"What do you mean?" he said.

"It's clear that you and your little 'employee' over there are on your way to some secluded spot as well," she said, laughing maliciously.

"What?!" he said.

Maya hummed to herself, still quite absorbed in her game of kick-the-rock, cheerfully oblivious to the conversation.

"M-Maya and me?" Phoenix continued, his face turning pale. "N-no way," he said. "We were just going to Fairview for the weekend to do some shopping."

"A quiet weekend together in a hotel," Franziska laughed. "Interesting."

"You've got it all wrong."

"Look, Wright," Edgeworth said, clearly less-than-amused. "It's getting late. We should really be going."

"Yes, yes, _do_ continue!" Maya giggled, catching the end of the conversation. "But I'm sure you two could afford a hotel room no problem!"

Franziska launched into a chain of insults and curses as Edgeworth pushed her into the car.

"Just forget all this," he said.

* * *

"Isn't it sweet!" Maya said as they got back into the car. "They're both so embarrassed and reluctant!" She clutched her hands together, a dreamy look in her eyes.

"I think you're reading into it too much," Phoenix said.

"You _know_ it's true," Maya said. "The childhood rivals, too proud to admit their deep respect and mutual admiration, forever embarrassed, find themselves alone in an awkward situation, lonely and in need of-"

Phoenix groaned.

"You're no fun," Maya pouted.

**To be continued...**

* * *

**Author Notes - **It was getting kind of serious and almost shippy for a while. I wanted to bring back some of the humor. After all, that's what makes the Phoenix Wright series the Phoenix Wright series. And if the phone law seems strange to you, allow me to explain. Ace Attorney takes place in California (orig. Japan) in the future, right? As of NOW in both California and Japan there is a law which prohibits you from using a cellphone while driving (unless you have a hands-free headset). So, you see...

I hope you will continue reading even if you don't support either of the pairings in the fic, I try not to push them too hard...because I know the in-game evidence is rather circumstantial for A LOT of the AA character shipping that people engage in. That's why I didn't mark the pairings on the description for the fic.

I kept thinking about that Doors song "Moonlight Drive" when I was writing this, even though I haven't heard it in forever and I can't even really remember the tune. More will be written sooner or later. The next chapter's events aren't really clear in my head yet.

Cheers, mate.

-Sparrow Townshend

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

Version 1.0 (1/7/09)

**THE PARKING TICKET**

**Part IV**

Speeding down the road again, the moon now shrouded in mysterious silvery clouds, Edgeworth realized how dreamlike the foggy fields seemed. He pondered stopping for coffee somewhere, but quickly dismissed the idea at the thought of Franziska's reaction. Franziska yawned as she watched the turnoff signs absentmindedly.

"We'll go pick up your car tomorrow," Edgeworth said.

"What do you mean, 'we.'"

"Well, you'll need some way of getting to the impound lot, won't you?"

"Are you suggesting that I don't know how to call a cab or take a bus?"

"Not at all."

"I can get there myself."

"I'm aware of that."

"Well then..."

"I thought it would be more convenient for you, given your busy schedule and your irrational attachment to the car," he said, smiling condescendingly.

"How dare you mock me," she muttered, too exhausted for one of her usual tirades.

-----------------------

"You have no evidence to support those claims, you fool!" she shouted, punctuating her statement with her whip.

"Oh really now?" Edgeworth replied, wagging his finger at her. "Well, I think the court is far less foolish than you think. This evidence has obviously been tampered with."

"Hmph, it's not as if you've never done such a thing."

"I'm afraid that's beside the point."

"Stop acting so self-righteous, Miles Edgeworth!"

"I would be happy to...if you would as well."

"Grrrr!" she shouted, leaping over the court bench with her whip in hand. "This will end _now!_"

"Franziska," he said softly, grabbing her shoulder.

-----------------------

"Franziska."

She jolted awake. Her arm accidentally hit his face as she unconsciously continued the motions of her dream for a brief moment.

"Hm?" she replied. "What do you want!?"

"Coffee," Edgeworth said, touching his face where it had been hit.

"What about it?"

"Would you like to stop for some coffee? You seem rather exhausted."

"Let's just get back to the city," she said, turning away from him. _What does he think this is, a date or something,_ she thought, rolling her eyes.

***

"And here at Midnite Morning DeLuxe, it's nearly time to sign off. Here's one last smooth track for all you night birds out there," the quiet, sultry voice on the radio said, fading out into delicate cymbal brushes and a slow, deep bass walk.

The car's headlights shone into the purplish shadows of very early morning. Cold fog silhouetted the clean lines of the glass-and-steel modernist house perched on the cliff.

"Papa, I don't want to go on the plane," Franziska mumbled in her sleep.

Her childish recollection made him realize how fragile she looked, slumped over in her seat, curled up defensively in the opposite direction. Yes, when she wasn't confronting him in her usual manner, she was almost cute. _Best leave her there for the time being. _

_*  
_

Edgeworth picked up the phone inside.

"Miss Skye," he said.

"M-M-Mr. Edgeworth..." Ema replied. "What a surprise, er, I mean...what do you want?"

"You wouldn't mind answering the phone in my office for another day? I'm taking this morning off."

"Well, of course..." she began, pausing as Pearl Fey entered the room, "...I might not really be able to, because, er...you see...I have this babysitting thing, and..." Her voice grew pained. _This is the opportunity of a lifetime, Ema! When has Mr. Edgeworth asked you to do something for him before?! This must mean that he-_

"I realize it's inconvenient, but I will compensate you for your time."

Ema's heart jumped. _"Compensate"...such a deliciously vague expression..._

"Yes!" she said excitedly.

"Excuse me?"

"I'll do it! It's no problem! Just leave it to me!" Ema shot back cheerfully, hanging up the phone. "Yes!" she shouted, striking a victory pose atop the couch.

"What happened?" Pearl said, tilting her head in confusion.

"It doesn't matter," Ema laughed, smiling dreamily to herself. "Anyway, Pearl, we're going on a field trip."

"What's a field trip?" Pearl asked, looking a bit concerned.

"Something wonderful."

*

Franziska awoke to a sore neck.

"Curses," she muttered, stretching.

_Miles' car... What was I doing here again?_

The events of the previous day came creeping back slowly as she stepped out of the car. Edgeworth - where was he, anyway?

_He'd better not be in my house_, she thought, clenching her fists.

She opened the glass door, noting the fingerprints carelessly smudging its shiny surface, and walked into the sun-filled sitting room. Edgeworth sat on her couch, reading her newspaper, engulfed in the world news section. A swirl of coffee steam floated around his head.

"You!" she shouted, pointing her well-used finger accusingly at him.

Edgeworth wheeled around in surprise, spilling his coffee. He sighed in irritation, putting the newspaper onto a nearby coffee table.

"You wouldn't happen to have a new suit, would you, Franziska?" he said, so calmly that it was a bit unsettling.

"Who said you could just sit down on _my_ couch and read _my _newspaper?"

"I didn't think it would bother you so much," he replied, trying not to laugh.

"Hmph."

"My suit."

"What, Miles? Do you expect me to clean it for you?" she said, grinning maliciously. "You know that I don't have a washing machine. Everything I own gets sent to the cleaners."

She paused, enjoying his sullen frustration.

"I haven't touched your room since you were last here. I'm sure there are some clothes in there. And I'm sure they'd still fit you...well enough."

_Besides, you could use a new look anyhow_, _you fool_, she thought, examining his oddly-hued magenta ensemble.

"I'm sure," he muttered, heading off to his room.

-

Edgeworth opened the door. A flood of memories ran through his mind as he recalled the years he'd lived in the house while going to law school. Franziska had taken over the house when she'd come back to the States permanently, but had thankfully left his room untouched. _She'd certainly wanted me to leave, though._ _How could I forget that day when she'd arrived to use her 'vacation home' a couple of years ago._

"Papa bought you this house, and you can afford your own place now!" she'd shouted, throwing books at him.

Edgeworth smiled and shook his head. _She's grown since then._ As much as she denied it, he suspected that her father virtually ignoring her for so many years had upset her emotionally. _She'd always had trouble coming to terms with her emotions. I suppose you could attribute it to her 'von Karma perfectionism.' How much anguish I went through myself subscribing to the same philosophy..._

"Hurry up, I want to go get my car back," Franziska said from behind the closed door.

"Yes, Franziska," he muttered, _you silly...spoiled...pretentious...ridiculous...little girl._

Edgeworth opened the closet.

_No._ Some suits from his rookie days, custom-made, German, almost military-like, greeted him as a moth flew out of the closet. _Why did I ever let Mr. von Karma help me order suits,_ he thought, selecting the least ostentatious of the three.

**To be continued....**

**

* * *

  
**

**Author Notes**

Hullo again, everyone. As usual, I hope you enjoyed the latest installment.


	5. Chapter 5

Version 1.1 (1/12/09)

**THE PARKING TICKET**

**Part V**

_I look like a bellboy,_ Edgeworth thought as he looked himself over in the mirror one last time.

Franziska stifled a laugh as he emerged from his old room.

"Shall we go, Prince Miles?" she said condescendingly, gesturing towards the door.

"Yes," he replied.

_The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can get back to work...and into some _normal_ clothes_, he thought, fiddling with one of the hundreds of shiny gold buttons on his suit.

*

As Edgeworth's Audi inched its way through the stressful, blaring, smoggy mass of automobiles that was L.A.'s morning rush hour, his customary Mozart-Bach-Beethoven mixture seemed strangely out-of-place, along with Franziska's calm expression. _Perhaps she's too exhausted for her usual extremes_, he mused.

"I've never had to deal with traffic like this before," Edgeworth said. "I'm usually awake and out of the house well before most people.

Several minutes passed before she replied.

"Neither have I."

"I see."

"Well, it seems we may be here for several more hours, Miles," she said archly, electing not to follow her remark with a criticism of Edgeworth's driving skills.

_Well, unlike you, Franziska, I don't consider myself immune to traffic laws_, he thought, reluctant to involve himself in another contemptuous round of snide comments.

_Why not make this as tolerable as possible,_ she thought to herself, stifling a devilish snicker. Miles seemed unwilling to turn her commentary inside out, so why not enjoy it? She began to devise multiple, seemingly-innocent questions that were sure to elicit an amusing reaction.

"Seeing anyone lately, Miles?" she asked, giving him a sidelong glance.

"Excuse me?" he said, eyes wide. _Is she coming on to me with that look?_

"You heard me."

"Now, why would you ask me something ridiculous like that?" he said, looking back towards the road.

"Is it so wrong to inquire about my little brother's life? We haven't talked with each other _about_ each other in quite a while, after all," she said.

Edgeworth thought he heard her suppress an evil laugh at the end of her statement. _What is she playing at_, he thought, narrowing his eyes in irritation. _No, no, this is what she wants. Stay calm, Edgeworth._

"You're right, Franziska, we haven't had a good family-style chat in a while," he said, faking a warm smile. "Tell me, had any dates lately?"

"I asked you first," she replied, restraining her irritation. _How did I know he'd turn this one around like he always does?_ "After you, Miles."

"I'm too busy for that sort of nonsense, as usual."

"Or is it you're just _not interested_."

"What does that mean?"

"In women." Franziska's lips curled into a malicious smile.

"I suppose it would seem that way to you," he replied coolly, unaffected by her assault on his sexuality.

"It certainly does," Franziska muttered.

"And you?"

"What about me?"

"Have you been 'seeing anyone'?"

"What do you think?"

"No," he said flatly, thinking better of accusing her of being 'uninterested' in the opposite sex.

"Precisely. You know I've got no time for that sort of thing."

_And besides, no one nearly perfect enough has come along_, she thought to herself as yet another long silence passed between them.

"When was the last time you went on a date, anyhow?" he said quietly.

"Talking to yourself again, Miles?" she laughed.

"Perhaps," he said, smiling.

"To answer your question, _never_," she replied, looking as haughty and prideful as usual.

Edgeworth's expression darkened. _I almost feel sorry for her...not only has she never even tried for any kind of normal interaction, she's...proud of it. Now that I think about it, I can't even remember her having any real friends at all. Not that my 'friends' are anything to be proud of_, he thought, smirking, _but at least I had some to watch my back when times were tough._

_What are you smiling to yourself about, Miles, _she wondered, glaring at him. _This is going to be less fun than I thought._

*

"Finally, we're here," Franziska said, stepping out of Edgeworth's car.

As Edgeworth talked to the lot attendant, Franziska inspected her car.

_I could kill those foolish fools! They smudged my windshield, dented my bumper, scratched the passenger-side door... My car is no longer the perfect vehicle it once was...._

"I'll remember this for the rest of my life, you fools," she muttered. "Well, Miles, I'll be off."

_Isn't there something you want to say to me_, he thought, sighing in irritation.

"Miles," she said.

"Yes?"

"Thanks for nothing, little brother."

"Oh, by the way, Franziska, before you go," Edgeworth said. "There's something I've been meaning to tell, er, give you for the longest time."

"What?" she said, looking the tiniest bit vulnerable.

Edgeworth slapped her across the face, although nowhere near as brutally as she'd hit him.

"That's for yesterday," he laughed, giving her a sidelong glance as he walked towards his car, as stoic and confident as the hero of a samurai film.

"Finally showing some guts, Mr. Miles Edgeworth," she said, touching her cheek. "Bravo."

*

"Oh, Mr. Edgeworth, welcome back!" Ema said cheerfully, pouring a cup of tea for Edgeworth as he entered the office. "I must say, I like your new style."

"Thanks for taking my calls, Ema," he replied, collapsing into his chair.

"Of course, anytime!" she replied, not moving an inch from where she was standing, looking expectantly down at him in his chair as she rocked back and forth on her heels, Wright's assistant's tiny cousin sitting meekly in a chair in the corner.

_What does she want_, he thought.

"Err... how was your emergency?" she asked.

"Fine, fine. Was there something else you wanted?" he asked, wondering why the schoolgirl was still in his office.

"Well, you said..."

"Compensation, right?" Pearl said cheerfully. "You kept telling me all about it, how could you forget, Ema?"

Ema blushed, looking at the floor.

"Of course," he said, rising from his chair. Ema felt her heart beat in her throat as her face turned a deep shade of pink.

"P-Pearl..." she began. "Pearl's still here, don't you think-"

Her sentence ended abruptly as Edgeworth gave her a twenty-dollar bill.

"Oh, was she helping you? Very well," he said, giving Ema a five-dollar bill. "That's for her."

"Oh," Ema said, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Thank you, sir."

"Why don't you be on your way, then, Miss Skye."

"Call me Ema!"

"...Ema."

As his office returned to its usual silence, Edgeworth closed his eyes, exhaustion overtaking him.

-----------------------------------

"Papa!" Franziska whined, tugging at Manfred von Karma's sleeve. "I want to go to the bookstore."

"Silence! I told you to go entertain yourself!"

Franziska looked up at him, venom flaring up behind her tear-filled eyes as she held in her emotions.

Edgeworth watched her run off, one end of her jumprope trailing behind her as his mentor's words fell on deaf ears.

"Pay attention!" Von Karma said, shoving another book at Edgeworth.

"Sorry, sir," he said quietly, burying himself in his studies again.

*

As Edgeworth left the room late that night, his brain thoroughly fatigued, he noticed a small shadow hunched in the hallway.

Little Franziska lay on the floor, sound asleep, a book open on the floor. Edgeworth picked it up to look at the title.

"In a Bamboo Grove," he read aloud, becoming lost in the story's fascinating ambiguities.

All of a sudden, he felt a stinging on his shin.

"That's mine!" Franziska spat, hitting him again with her jumprope.

"Sorry, Franziska, I was just-"

"I hate you, Miles Edgeworth! All you do is steal things! Why can't you just drop dead!" she said, running away as her tears became too much to contain, leaving her book lying open on the floor.

_What did she mean by that_, he wondered to himself.

-----------------------------------

Edgeworth awoke with a start from his daydream. _How sad, _he thought, recalling the incident he'd nearly erased from his memory. _She must have always thought of me that way...as someone who deprived her of her birthright, who exceeded where she had failed..._ And yet, she had grown so much since then, it seemed. She had become confident, skilled, intelligent, and decisive, regardless of her other, admittedly minor faults. _As frustrating as she is, I couldn't bear to see her any other way. That independence, that pride...she's one of a kind. Little Franziska._

**THE END**

**

* * *

  
**

**Author Notes**

I hope you enjoyed the story, everyone! I had a lot of fun writing a crazy adventure for two (or three or four) of my favourite characters. Please review if you have time to share your opinions (whether they are bad or good, as long as they are constructive), and check out my other Phoenix Wright fic, the humorous oneshot "Turnabout Snacktime."

Cheers!

-Sparrow Townshend


End file.
